I have been studying life coaching recently and the prospect of developing through change and attracting the best that life can offer. Life coaching is a fascinating tool, aimed at supporting people to not only identify, but also achieve their goals and aspirations, both personally and in their working lives.
We may sometimes find ourselves in a bit of a rut, and coaching can open up new ways of looking at where we are, helping overcome obstacles and suggesting changes or small shifts that can make all the difference. Essentially an aid to becoming our ‘best self’.
It is not always easy to be objective about your life when you are living it! A coach will not counsel you or analyse your past, but rather look at an overall picture from an independent perspective and from there, hopefully offer guidance for change. Anyone thinking about life coaching needs to be committed to new ideas, change and different ways of doing things.
If you do decide to undertake paid one to one sessions with a coach, make sure that they are the right coach for you. Check their qualifications and their testimonials from past clients. Life coaching can be wonderful, uplifting and fulfilling, but with the wrong coach, it will feel frustrating and a waste of money.
Private life coaching can be expensive and you may like to consider self coaching or Me Coaching as I call it, as a starting place.
We all have a ‘Me Coach’ inside of us, as we all have a ‘Worry Judge’. Unfortunately the Me Coach often gets drowned out by the incessant loud voice of the Worry Judge, who is determined to keep you safe by warning you of the possible dreadful consequences of change. The Worry Judge, is quite sly and will use any tactics necessary to deter you from careering off down what it considers to be, a dangerous path. Crucially, it focuses your mind on why you can’t rather than how you can.
Try and let your Me Coach be heard! Your Me Coach is all about positivity. It is desperate to tell you about all that life could hold for you and is hugely excited about the happiness and joy it sees in your potential future. It wants you to take positive action now and start on the road to becoming your best self. Remember, both of these voices are a part of you and both deserve to be heard. If you haven’t heard the voice of your Me Coach for a while, give the Worry Judge the day off, and read the list below. It may help you to readdress the balance:
Think about your current priorities. Is it your work and your career that are most needing attention, or is it your relationship, bank balance or family life? Listing areas of your life that are important to you and considering which needs priority is a good starting point. It doesn’t have to be complicated at this stage. This is just a launching pad!
Look at the bigger picture of your life, summarising what’s working and what isn’t. Set this against your core beliefs and your hopes and dreams Define what success really means for you. If it’s helpful, ask a close friend or family member who knows you very well, for their view.
Don’t settle. Too many of us settle for what we have achieved, when actually there is so much more waiting for us out there. If you could do anything, go anywhere, change anything, what would it be? Let your dreams guide you. Think big!
Honour your core values and set goals for your own sake. It’s pointless to attempt to reach goals set for you by someone else or taking your direction advice from a well meaning person who think they know what is best for you.
Don’t hold on to past failures and setbacks. Failures are simply practice for future success. Setbacks are always opportunities to learn and we learn far more when things go wrong that we do from our successes. Think of failure as merely a state of mind.
Don’t procrastinate. If not now, when? Don’t let the Worry Judge tell you it’s all going to be too difficult. You have faced ‘too difficult’ before, in one aspect of your life or another, come through it and out the other side, wiser and stronger and better equipped to deal with the next challenge.
Accept yourself and the notion that universe wants you to be happy. Liking/loving/accepting yourself will ultimately make you feel happier and better equipped to face your goals and their challenges. Self compassion, giving yourself the credit you deserve and being kind to yourself will give you an inner stability, and a sense of power and strength.
Try and live your life in the present. Do not live in the past feeling cross or resentful about mistakes, regrets or injustices. That was yesterday. Today is the first day of the rest of your life!
Be excited! You are a blank slate ready for new things! You are in control! You have the power to not only make life changing decisions, but to instigate them and make the changes you need to set you on the path towards your goals.
Trust yourself and your decisions. No one knows you better than you do. you are free to pursue your own happiness and you have the strength and ability to manage this exciting journey.
Reassess your gratitude list. Tune into your positive side. Practise optimism and make time to be happy. If you are on a journey towards your goal, you have already made significant progress! Consider the journey as part of the goal and enjoy the time on the path towards the goal as much as reaching it.
Visualise living the life you want. If this is difficult to begin with, try the Solution Focused method: Think about what life will be like when you have reached your goal, and then slowly work backwards in your head, or on paper, considering the steps it will take to arrive at that place.
Be specific when setting your goals. Set a time scale and make sure that goals are not only achievable, but you are excited about them! They need to be realistic and observe your work /life balance.
Avoid “yes but …” statements and think about what motivates you. Try to identify what has been stopping you up to this point. Is it fear of change? The Worry Judge strikes again! Change is nothing to be feared.
Be open to new ideas. Do some research about what you want to do. There may be a lot of exciting possibilities going forward that you have not yet even considered or were aware of.
Get support from like minded friends and keep a journal so you can record your progress.
Finally, learn to talk to yourself as you do your best and closest friend. Do you speak to that friend in the role of Worry Judge or Me Coach? I’m betting it’s the latter. Be kind to yourself. You deserve it!
Life coaching, ‘Me Coaching’, call it what you will., but don’t let life slip by, leaving it to chance, hoping that things will change by themselves. Opportunities are out there! Don’t waste a precious moment. Invest in yourself and your life… and give yourself the chance of becoming your ‘best self’.❤️