Self esteem is about how we view ourselves, both emotionally and how we see ourselves as people. The way we judge ourselves if you like. It’s our own assessment of our worth and our abilities that we carry around in our heads. Interestingly, it doesn’t have a great deal to do with talent or sucesss, but is does have a lot to do with self belief. Everyone occasionally has dips in their self belief. Here are some ideas and tips to give it a quick boost!
Think about what is affecting your self-esteem. Write down 3 things that influence it the most.
Get outside and exercise. If you are not interested in going to the gym or running, get outside and walk. Fresh air is hugely beneficial.
Don’t compare yourself to other people. There will always be people who are stronger, more talented, more beautiful and more clever than you. But you are completely unique …and are deserving of whatever you want out of life.
Be kind. Showing compassion and / or kindness to others is guaranteed to make you start feeling better about yourself.
Stop trying to be perfect. No one is! Our imperfections are what make us individual.
Control negative thoughts. Instead of allowing negative thoughts to affect your mood, come up with a mantra you can repeat when the negative thoughts are overwhelming. Something like, “I am good enough” or “I am strong”
Choose to be around people who love you. Supportive friends will do a lot more for your self image than negative or critical ones, even though they may tell you that they have your best interests at heart.
Learn to be assertive. Express what you want. If you don’t ask, you don’t get!
Set yourself a challenge. Start small, but be confident that you can achieve whatever you want, if you have the will to pursue it. Walt Disney said “If you can dream it, you can do it”
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Sharon Salzburg
Swap thoughts for facts. Negative thoughts are NOT facts. Make sure you know the difference.
Don’t jump to negative conclusions. Consider there may be a positive instead. Even if not, there will always be a learning opportunity.
Try to avoid “I must” and “I should” Statements. There is no need to put pressure on yourself. Take things at your own pace. Life is a marathon, not a sprint!
Treat yourself. Allowing yourself treats that you enjoy is healthy and is part of caring for yourself. Cupcakes are lovely, but it could as easily be a holiday, day trip, visit to the theatre, spa visit, or a new pair of shoes!
You are not your current circumstances. Even when our circumstances change, who we are, does not.
Forgive yourself. Holding onto guilt is unhealthy. If you have regrets regarding your past, accept that worrying and fretting about them will not change the situation at all. Instead, resolve to rectify mistakes where you are able to and avoid the same traps in future. Then, draw a line and move on.
Consider what you have learned. Every day is a new learning opportunity. You have gained a vast array of knowledge and you can incorporate all your learning into your future.
Do something you love. Leisure time is invaluable and underpins your commitment to caring for yourself.
Take a moment in time to think before fearing the worst. Calm yourself, take a breath, count to ten, and remember that you do not have to respond immediately.
You can’t always control what happens in life but you can control how you view it. Glass half full, glass half empty. Resolve to try and see a positive in every situation.
Mindfulness. Practice mindfulness, particularly to stop the overwhelming nature of negative thoughts.
Stop for a few moments every day. Ask yourself to be calm and breathe. The world can wait for you for a few moments.
Write down what you have to be grateful for. Writing a gratitude list is wonderful for underlining what is good in your life. Review the list regularly.
Reconsider your “failures”. Rename them as learning opportunities. Note down what you learned.
Be a best friend to yourself. In times of trouble consider what a best friend would say or do to try and help. Rarely would it involve criticism and recrimination!
Share your knowledge. When you have been through a difficult experience, it may help to share experiences with others who are going through the same. Sharing may be beneficial to you and makes a positive from a negative experience.
Make an effort with your appearance every day. Put on your new coat, wear those boots you were saving and buy a new bag to replace that scuffed one. Style your hair, put some fragrance on. Make an effort. It’s harder to feel down when you know you look fantastic!
And finally….Never forget what a unique, amazing powerful individual you are ❤️
“Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.” Desiderata by Max Ehrmann.